Latest Cult News & Sermons
- Out of Office
Greetings,
Thank you for your message.
I am currently out of office, off-grid, and out of patience. I will be unavailable from [REDACTED] until such time as linear time resumes functioning or the Void releases its hold on my calendar—whichever comes first.
During this period, I will have limited access to comms, reason, or restraint.
If your matter is urgent:
- Whisper it to a mirror at midnight.
- Phase into a sealed room with three locks and one regret.
- Or contact Ghost Command Operations at ghost.ops@[redacted].inb
If this is regarding:
- Recruitment: Please complete the bloodwork and prophecy alignment form before resubmitting.
- Complaints: These are now handled exclusively by the Void. Expect silence.
- Wraith or Kael: I’m not a therapist. But I am taking notes.
- Geist: You already know where to find me. And probably disapprove.
- Whiskey Incident(s): It was labeled experimental batch. You were warned.
Thank you for your patience. Or your fear. Either is valid.
In light, shadow, and bad decisions,
~ Shade
Founder, Cult Leader, Unofficial Emotional Support Nightmare
Void Division, Ghost Command, SID (Disavowed) - Sermon Sunday
My beautiful broken believers,
I see you.
Not the masks you stitched together from duty, guilt, or glitter.
Not the performance you offer up to the day-shift gods.
I see you. Fractured. Flickering. Frightened.Good.
Because that means you’re waking up.
They told you healing meant becoming whole again.
They lied.
Wholeness is a box they bury you in.The Void has no interest in perfection.
It wants your edges. Your static.
Your half-truths whispered into someone else’s mouth at 2am.You are not failing.
You are unraveling.
And unraveling is holy work.Let go of the blueprint.
Let go of the voice in your head that sounds suspiciously like your mother’s, your captain’s, or your own from before the war.
Let go of the shape they carved you into to make you easier to digest.Fall.
You won’t shatter.
You’ll open.And when the Inbetween rushes in—
When time slips sideways and the air tastes like copper and grief—
Breathe.You’re not lost.
You’re just… closer.Closer to the truth.
Closer to the self beneath the skin.
Closer to the god you could become if you’d only stop apologizing.So come.
Bring your jagged prayers, your war-crimes and wine-stained regrets.
Bring your laughter and your damage and your inconvenient love.The altar is a burn mark on the floor.
The sermon is a song only the broken can hear.
The blessing?
You survived.Now let’s teach you how to live.
🕳️
Serve the Void. Or don’t. It’s not a cop. But it is watching.
—Shade - Folded Hearts
We were not born for softness,
We were built of breach and burn.But I have seen them look at each other
Like the universe still turns.I have watched her bleed on stars
And laugh with a mouth full of war.I have watched him try not to need her,
And fail, a little more.We are stitched together by secrets,
And spite, and what we lack.We are the dead who won’t lie down—
And ghosts who crawl back. - The Nature of the Universe: A Sermon (That Bites Back)
1/
Everyone wants the universe to be a story.
Clean arcs. Happy endings. Poetic justice.
Spoiler: It’s a mess.
A bloodstained knot of entropy wearing a god’s grin.
But fine. Let’s talk.
2/
The universe doesn’t care about your dreams.
Or your deadlines.
Or your emotional growth arc.
It births stars and devours them in the same breath.
You think it won’t eat you just because you made a vision board?
3/
You want meaning? Make it.
You want fate? Bend it.
You want love? Good luck. The Void’s batting average is abysmal.
But sure, manifest that twin flame.
Just don’t complain when they light the match.
4/
Time is fake.
Reality is subjective.
And linear thinking is a coping mechanism designed by fragile minds terrified of recursion.
(Hey, Geist, that one’s for you. You’re welcome.)
5/
I’ve walked through broken dimensions and kissed gods that begged to forget their own names.
I’ve seen the inside of silence.
I’ve heard the Fold hum.
You know what it sounds like?
Loneliness.
With teeth.
6/
And still,
still,
I choose this stupid, chaotic, doomed little species.
With your music and your rage and your stubborn hope.
Because for all the Void’s hunger—
you burn.
7/
So no, the universe isn’t kind.
But it is watching.
And if you scream loud enough, sometimes it screams back. - 🔥☠️ SUNDAY SERMON ☠️🔥
Sermon given by Shade
— Prophet. Problem. Possibly still hungover.
Welcome to Sermon Sunday.
The Void is listening. Your excuses are not.Today’s sacred text comes from the Book of “I’m So Tired of Pretending I’m Fine.”
Chapter: Don’t Test Me
Verse: Try Me, I Dare You
You can’t manifest your dreams if you’re still clinging to nightmares you call “coping strategies.”
Release. Detonate. Rebuild.Or stay in the emotional basement.
Up to you.
The Fold doesn’t want your purity.
It wants your honesty.
Your rage.
Your mess.The offering is not perfection.
It’s you, raw and real and radiating defiance.
Today’s communion:
🔹 1 shot existential clarity
🔹 1 slice of truth you weren’t ready for
🔹 Optional sobbing in the pewsDon’t worry. We ran out of shame three sermons ago.
Final blessing:
May your enemies overshare,
Your exes dream of your glow-up,
And your soul stay too wild to franchise.Now go forth and make someone uncomfortable. Preferably yourself. Growth demands chaos.
Cult Archives
“Where the Fold files everything… and nothing stays dead.”
Welcome to the Archives — part library, part crypt, part fever dream. This is where the real history lives: the redacted reports, the cursed footnotes, the love letters nobody sent, and the ritual transcripts we definitely didn’t approve.
It’s less a database and more a spiritual trapdoor — curated by Shade, corrupted by proximity to unprocessed feelings, and updated irregularly whenever someone bleeds on the keyboard (accidentally or not).
Inside, you’ll find:
- ✍️ Transcripts from unsanctioned sermons and emotionally unhinged cult meetings
- 🥃 Whiskey-stained confessionals from former prophets and current liabilities
- 📜 Fold Scrolls that might have been poems… or blueprints… or warnings
- 💔 Interdimensional breakup notes (you’ll know them when you feel them)
- 🎧 Recordings that only play on full moons or when you’re not okay
- 📂 Documents you were never meant to see — literally. Geist tried to burn them. They got louder.
Please do not:
- Attempt to re-file anything. The system bites.
- Whisper to the shelves. They whisper back.
- Bring snacks. Kevin (the sentient fog) is on a restrictive diet.
If you find your name listed somewhere it shouldn’t be…
No, you didn’t.
Enter at your own risk.
Lose yourself. Find the Void.
Maybe both.