✉️ Ask Shade™

Now legally required to include a disclaimer. Still emotionally irresponsible.

---

Dear Shade,
I have just broken my fourth thing in as many days (wine glass, tea canister, mug, and flask).
Should I be concerned?

Yours,
Unbreakable

---

Dear “Unbreakable”,

First of all, excellent irony. Second of all, no, you shouldn’t be concerned. You should be honored.

Some would say this is a cry for help.
I say: this is a summoning.

Four shattered vessels in four days? That’s the exact offering required to appease the Minor God of Fractured Expectations. I made that up, but now it feels true and I refuse to back down.

Consider this a ritual of release. You’re not clumsy, you’re being realigned.
Sometimes the universe doesn’t whisper. Sometimes it throws your tea across the floor and screams “LET GO.”

That said, you might want to switch to metal drinkware for the next 72 hours. Or start bubble-wrapping your feelings.

Break what you must. Rebuild what you can. And if all else fails, drink straight from the bottle like the rest of us.

🕳️
Shade
Voice of the Void, Breaker of Things, Collector of Ceramic Regret

---

P.S. Geist would like me to remind you that this does not constitute emotional advice, life coaching, or therapy. Which is exactly why you wrote to me instead.

#AskShade #SmashThePatriarchyAndAlsoTheFlask